How Relationship Experts Celebrate Valentine’s Day: Real Plans & Meaningful Advice
Discover how relationship experts truly celebrate Valentine's Day with real stories, actionable ideas, and expert insight for couples and singles alike.
As Valentine’s Day approaches each year, many couples and singles begin to feel the pressure of tradition and expectation. Is February 14th meant for grand gestures or cozy nights in? Should you do something truly special or keep things simple? Few people are as qualified to offer perspective as relationship experts—counselors, matchmakers, psychologists, and intimacy coaches—who spend their lives immersed in the complexities and joys of human connection. Here, we reveal how these professionals choose to spend Valentine’s Day, what their choices say about romantic expectations, and what advice they have to offer for making the day truly meaningful, regardless of your relationship status.
Why Valentine’s Day Still Matters (Or Doesn’t)
Valentine’s Day conjures images of passionate romance, elaborate dinners, and red roses, but for experts deeply embedded in the study of relationships, the interpretations are as diverse as their backgrounds. Some believe in celebrating love daily, not just on a prescribed date. Others embrace the opportunity for novelty and connection that the occasion allows.
Whether you’re seeking inspiration for your own Valentine’s Day or simply curious how the pros approach romance, these viewpoints offer guidance that’s practical, thoughtful, and refreshingly real.
1. We’ll Get Away: Embracing Escape and Connection
For some experts, Valentine’s Day is the perfect chance to step away from the daily grind and reconnect in a new setting. Dr. Celeste Holbrook, a sexologist and author, doubles up the celebration since her husband’s birthday falls on February 14th. Their ritual? Escaping their everyday environment for a night at a hotel—this year, The Joule in Dallas.
- Why it works: Getting away creates a buffer from daily responsibilities, allowing couples to reconnect on a deeper, more present level.
- Expert Tip: Novelty and change of setting often spark intimacy; plan a mini escape even if it’s local.
2. We’ll Boycott Valentine’s Day: Celebrating on Our Own Terms
Dr. Suzana Flores, a clinical psychologist and author, and her husband consciously choose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day at all. For them, it’s about rejecting prescribed romance in favor of personal meaning.
- “We want to celebrate our relationship on a day that is meaningful to us — not predetermined by someone else.”
- Expert Tip: Feel empowered to make your own traditions or opt out entirely; love isn’t marked by a single day.
3. We’ll Attend a Relationship Workshop: Prioritizing Growth
Irina Baechle, a relationship therapist, spends the holiday with her husband at an intensive relationship workshop. They’re attending a two-day “Hold Me Tight” seminar, based on the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy model, to deepen emotional connection and communication.
- Relationship workshops offer transformative tools and open new paths for couples to connect with each other.
- Expert Tip: Look for local or virtual relationship-building events, or dedicate time on Valentine’s Day to meaningful emotional connection—ask questions, share hopes, and listen deeply.
4. We’ll Keep It Low-Key: Date Night, Done Right
Not all experts advocate for elaborate plans. Many prefer to keep things simple, cozy, and low-key. For example, one expert might spend the evening at home, enjoying a favorite meal or binge-watching TV with their significant other. The emphasis is on comfort, relaxation, and genuine connection without the stress of meeting heightened expectations.
- “Our best nights are usually the ones where we just focus on each other, away from distractions.”
- Expert Tip: Whatever your tradition—pizza, movies, a special dessert—a relaxed evening can be the ultimate romantic gesture if it fits your unique dynamic.
5. We’ll Make It a Family Affair: Redefining Romance
For some, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. Several relationship professionals choose to include children, friends, or broader family members in the festivities, focusing on all forms of love and appreciation.
What others are reading
- Family Valentine’s activities, like baking, crafting, or a shared meal, can help children and singles feel included.
- Expert Tip: Use the day as an opportunity to express gratitude and affection to all loved ones, not just a romantic partner.
6. We’ll Celebrate All Month Long: Romance Doesn’t Have a Calendar
Rather than limiting expressions of affection to February 14th, some experts practice ongoing appreciation, with small surprises or meaningful gestures spread throughout the month. This not only relieves pressure on a single day but also encourages sustainable connection.
- “We make the entire month about little acts of love and kindness.”
- Expert Tip: Consider writing notes, giving small gifts, or sharing words of appreciation throughout February in place of one big celebration.
7. We’ll Celebrate Ourselves: Singles & Self-Love
For singles or those not in committed relationships, relationship experts stress the importance of self-care and self-love. Many dedicate the day to activities that bring them joy—spa visits, favorite hobbies, or dinner with friends. The message: Valentine’s Day can be a celebration of your relationship with yourself.
- Solo outings, treating yourself to a treat, or volunteering are all recommended by experts as meaningful ways to mark the day.
- Expert Tip: Reframe Valentine’s Day as a prompt for personal celebration, growth, and reflection.
8. We’ll Focus on Giving Back: Making it About Others
Some experts suggest redirecting the day’s energy outward. Whether volunteering, writing kind notes to friends and colleagues, or performing random acts of kindness, the holiday becomes an opportunity to spread love beyond romantic partners.
- Participate in community events, fundraisers, or simply call an old friend to reconnect—generosity can be its own reward.
- Expert Tip: Plan a small act of service or appreciation for someone outside your usual circle.
9. We’ll Honor Our Routine: Love as a Daily Practice
As Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman notes, true love isn’t measured on a single day but by consistent, intentional time together. He and his wife spend quality time together each day, ensuring regular connection makes Valentine’s less critical. “Everything that is truly vital in life — breathing, eating, the need for exercise — is not done only once a year!”
- Daily micro-moments of connection (a morning hug, a thoughtful text) matter most in keeping a relationship thriving.
- Expert Tip: Build relationship rituals that celebrate love every day, so no single holiday bears all the weight.
10. We’ll Try Something New: Reinventing Romance
For other experts, Valentine’s Day is the ideal moment to inject novelty into the relationship: a new restaurant, an unfamiliar sport, or even a relationship-building game at home. The goal? To break out of routine and experience something together for the first time.
- “Trying something new, even something small, brings back discovering-each-other excitement.”
- Expert Tip: Collaboratively pick a new activity you both want to try, and let the surprise become the memory.
11. We’ll Talk Openly: Communication Above All
Ultimately, every expert agrees that the most impactful way to spend Valentine’s Day is to communicate openly about expectations, desires, and boundaries. This applies whether you’re in a new relationship navigating pressures, or in a long-term partnership re-examining traditions.
- “The most important thing isn’t what you do, but that it’s aligned with your values and preferences as a couple,” says a relationship coach.
- Expert Tip: Start a conversation about what each person truly wants; let authenticity replace obligation.
Valentine’s Day Planning Table: Should You Go Big, Lay Low, or Opt-Out?
| Valentine’s Day Attitude | Typical Activities | Expert Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Extravagant Celebration | Getaways, fancy dinners, unique experiences | Novelty and focused time together creates memorable connection |
| Keep It Simple | Home-cooked meals, movies, walks | Familiar comforts foster genuine intimacy without pressure |
| Boycott/Ignore | No celebration, normal routines | Authenticity and resisting commercial pressure suits some partnerships |
| Self-Love/Solo | Spa day, self-care, friends’ night out | Building self-worth and personal joy matters, partnered or not |
| Growth-Focused | Workshops, vision boards, shared goals | Develops communication, grows relationship skills |
Expert Tips for Every Relationship Status
- For new couples: Keep plans low-pressure and conversational. Focus on learning about each other with curiosity and playfulness.
- For long-term couples: Mix reliability with novelty—cherish rituals but also introduce new experiences to keep things lively.
- For long-distance partners: Surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, video calls, or creative collaborations like shared playlists or vision boards.
- For singles: Organize a gathering with friends, treat yourself, or dive into a project that excites you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Is it necessary to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a romantic relationship?
A: No; experts agree that authentic relationships aren’t defined by one holiday. What matters is that both partners feel valued, heard, and loved throughout the year.
Q: What can I do if my partner and I have different attitudes toward Valentine’s Day?
A: Communicate openly in advance. Honor each person’s perspective and find a compromise that feels meaningful and respectful to both.
Q: Are simple plans as meaningful as elaborate ones?
A: Absolutely. The true key to a romantic gesture is alignment with your values and your unique relationship dynamic—not the price tag or extravagance.
Q: What’s a good way to celebrate if I’m single?
A: Focus on self-love, gather with friends, or give back to your community. Valentine’s Day is what you make of it, partnered or solo.
Key Takeaways from Relationship Experts
- Communication about desires and expectations is crucial for an enjoyable holiday.
- There’s no one-size-fits-all formula for a meaningful Valentine’s Day—customize it to your relationship’s needs.
- Daily rituals of love and connection are always more valuable than grand gestures once a year.
- Inclusivity and gratitude—with friends, family, or yourself—can transform the day into a broader celebration of love.
Whether you’re plotting an extravagant surprise, planning a cozy night in, or opting to ignore Cupid’s call entirely, take inspiration from the experts: let authenticity and intention guide your Valentine’s Day and every day after.
References
- https://www.bustle.com/p/11-relationship-experts-reveal-their-plans-for-valentines-day-2018-8053622
- https://www.bustle.com/wellness/valentines-day-ideas-long-distance-relationship
- https://www.heatheredwardsnyc.com/relationships/
- https://www.heatheredwardsnyc.com/category/relationships-2/
- https://www.karennaalexander.com/as-seen-in.html
- https://yourejustadumbass.com/media-inquiries/
- https://www.clippings.me/users/natalialusinski
- https://lorisalkin.com/press/
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