How to Write the Ultimate Best Man Speech: A Complete Guide
Blend gratitude, humor, and sincerity into an address that guests will cherish.
How to Write the Ultimate Best Man Speech
Public speaking can be daunting, but as the best man, delivering a memorable, heartfelt, and humorous speech is a tradition to honor your cherished friend on his big day. Whether you are worried about speaking in front of a crowd or excited to share your favorite stories, this comprehensive guide will walk you through each step of writing and delivering the ultimate best man speech—one that will genuinely connect with guests and be remembered for all the right reasons.
Why the Best Man Speech Matters
The best man speech is more than just a wedding formality. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the groom, embrace shared memories, entertain guests, and express your sincere hopes for the couple’s future. A well-constructed speech can make the occasion more personal and heartfelt—and give everyone a little insight into the strong bonds of friendship and love that brought everyone together.
Best Man Speech Structure: The Foundations
A successful speech has a clear flow. Following a structure ensures you hit the right emotional beats, avoid rambling, and deliver your words with purpose. Here is a tried-and-true outline for crafting your best man speech:
- Opening Lines and Introduction
- Express Gratitude and Offer Thanks
- Share Stories about the Groom
- Mention the Bride/Partner
- Comment on the Couple’s Relationship
- Conclude with Sincere Wishes and a Toast
1. Opening Lines and Introduction
Kickstart your speech in a way that grabs everyone’s attention. A personal anecdote, relatable humor, or a thoughtful quote can immediately engage the audience. Remember to introduce yourself, especially for guests who might not know you well. For example:
- “For those who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting me, I’m James, the lucky guy who gets to call himself Matt’s best man.”
- “They say you can tell a lot about a man by his friends—so I hope I’m doing Matt justice today.”
2. Express Gratitude and Offer Thanks
Thank everyone involved in making the day special. This usually includes the hosts, parents, wedding party, and anyone else who deserves a mention. Be thoughtful and specific—generic thank-yous can sound insincere. For instance:
- “A huge thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Brown for hosting such a beautiful wedding.”
- “Thank you to the bridesmaids for their tireless efforts and for helping Claire stay calm.”
3. Share Stories about the Groom
Bring your groom to life with anecdotes! Share funny, endearing, or remarkable stories that paint a vivid picture of his character. Avoid inside jokes that most guests won’t understand and steer clear of embarrassing details or anything inappropriate. Aim for humor balanced with warmth:
- “I remember when Matt and I first met in college—he was the only person in the library searching for the vending machine.”
- “There’s a reason Matt’s always chosen as the designated driver: he’s both responsible and always loses his car keys.”
4. Mention the Bride or Partner
Every great best man speech includes heartfelt remarks about the bride or partner. This is not just etiquette—it’s essential to show respect and affection, and to acknowledge the new chapter in the groom’s life. You could include:
- “Meeting Claire was a turning point for Matt. Suddenly, Sunday morning football gave way to brunch dates and art galleries.”
- “Watching them together, it’s clear who wears the pants—and, Matt, you wear them proudly, even if Claire picks them out.”
5. Comment on the Couple’s Relationship
This is the emotional heartbeat of your speech. Reflect on how the couple complements each other, their journey together, or memorable moments in their relationship. Avoid cliché and strive for authenticity:
- “Their partnership is built on laughter, patience, and the healthiest obsession with board games I’ve ever witnessed.”
- “If ever two people were meant for each other, it’s these two.”
6. Finish with a Toast
Wrap up your speech with heartfelt congratulations and well-wishes, followed by an invitation to everyone to raise a glass. Keep it warm and short. For example:
- “Here’s to Matt and Claire—may their love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever!”
- “To laughter, to love, and to a lifetime together. Cheers!”
How to Start a Best Man Speech: Expert Tips
The opening moments set the tone for your speech. Here are some guidelines to ensure you start strong:
- Be yourself: Don’t try to imitate other speakers; your own voice and style are your greatest assets.
- Start with energy: Hook the audience quickly, be it with humor, a touching statement, or by telling them who you are.
- Avoid cringe clichés: Skip tired jokes—find inspiration in your actual relationship and experiences.
- Set a positive tone: Start upbeat and maintain the celebratory mood.
How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?
The best man speech should be long enough to tell your stories but short enough to keep everyone’s attention. Aim for 5 to 7 minutes (roughly 800 to 1,200 words). Speeches longer than 10 minutes risk losing the audience. Remember, quality over quantity: make every word count.
- Time yourself reading the speech aloud—practice helps you trim and focus your message.
- Edit ruthlessly. After you complete your first draft, cut out 20% to keep it concise and engaging.
What Should I Include in the Best Man Speech?
Beyond following the structure, here are core elements every best man speech should cover:
- Personal thank-yous to those who made the day possible.
- Anecdotes—choose stories that are lighthearted, meaningful, and appropriate for the audience.
- A warm welcome to the bride or partner into your circle of friends or the family.
- Well wishes for the couple’s journey ahead.
- Optionally, a funny quote or a favorite saying that fits the couple’s personality or relationship.
Do’s and Don’ts of a Best Man Speech
| Do’s | Don’ts |
|---|---|
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Tips to Prepare and Deliver Like a Pro
- Write it down: Don’t wing it. Even experienced speakers benefit from notes or cue cards.
- Practice aloud: Rehearse in front of a mirror, friends, or record yourself to gain confidence.
- Use bullet points: Break your speech into sections so you don’t lose your place under pressure.
- Be sober: A drink or two may calm nerves, but avoid overindulging before your big moment.
- Check your timing: Time your rehearsed delivery to ensure it fits the recommended length.
- Know your audience: Avoid inside jokes that most guests won’t understand, and don’t offend anyone, young or old.
Sample Best Man Speech Structure
Still struggling with inspiration? Here’s a sample outline to get you started. Personalize each section with your own stories and emotions:
- Introduction: “Hello everyone, I’m Alex, and I have the huge honor of being Tom’s best man today.”
- Thank-yous: “Thank you to Tom and Sarah, their families, and everyone who made today possible.”
- Funny story: “Tom and I met in high school, and I’ll never forget the time he tried to impress Sarah with a karaoke version of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart.’”
- Warmth and transition: “Jokes aside, Tom’s loyalty and humor have always set him apart.”
- Inclusion of the bride: “Sarah, you’ve brought out the best in Tom—and turned him into someone who can actually cook.”
- Reflections on the couple: “Their partnership is a mix of mutual respect, shared laughter, and in Tom’s case, a great playlist.”
- Final toast: “Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to Tom and Sarah—wishing them a lifetime of happiness!”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Can I use humor in my speech?
A: Absolutely! Humor is encouraged, but keep it tasteful and ensure your audience will appreciate the jokes. Avoid jokes that could embarrass the couple or guests.
Q: How do I calm my nerves before the speech?
A: Prepare with practice, deep breathing, and positive visualization. Talking to supportive friends beforehand or focusing on the couple’s happiness can also help.
Q: Should I mention ex-partners or past relationships?
A: No, avoid talking about exes or sensitive topics that might make anyone uncomfortable. Focus on the present and future of the couple.
Q: What if I get emotional?
A: It’s perfectly okay to show genuine emotion. Take a breath, collect yourself, and continue—authenticity is appreciated by guests.
Final Checklist for the Best Man Speech
- Structure your speech thoughtfully—introduction, stories, bride/partner mention, conclusion, and toast.
- Keep it under seven minutes.
- Edit for clarity, humor, and warmth.
- Practice until you’re comfortable and confident.
- Speak from the heart—sincerity turns a good speech into a great one.
A Last Word of Encouragement
Being the best man is both an honor and a responsibility. With preparation, heart, and humor, your speech can add immense joy to the celebration. Remember—this moment is about the couple, your friendship, and the power of love. Speak honestly, keep it light, and enjoy your time in the spotlight.
References
- https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/organising-and-planning/best-man-speech-structure/
- https://thespeakerlab.com/blog/best-man-speech-examples/
- https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/how-to-best-man-speech/
- https://www.theknot.com/content/best-man-speech
- https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/wedding-ceremony-script/
- https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/father-of-the-bride-speech/
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