How To Flirt With A Guy: 13 Confident & Subtle Ways For Modern Women

Simple eye contact, a warm smile, and playful charm can ignite real connections.

By Sneha Tete, Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach
Created on

Everyone’s had that moment—the heart skips a beat when you see your crush across a room, on campus, or even at work. If you’ve ever found yourself nervously wondering how to initiate flirtation, you’re not alone. While fantasizing about the perfect conversation is easy, turning those thoughts into action can be daunting. Flirting, though, is an art anyone can learn. With these expert-backed tips, you’ll be well on your way to making a memorable—and genuine—connection.

In This Article

To enhance your flirtation skills further, don't miss our 27 effective tips to spark his interest. Each tip is designed to help you navigate the complexities of modern attraction, ensuring you leave a lasting impression while staying true to yourself.

13 Best Ways To Flirt With A Guy

Flirting isn’t about cheesy pickup lines or grand gestures. It’s about genuine connection, playful interaction, and showing authentic interest. Here are 13 practical ways modern women can confidently, yet subtly, flirt with a guy.

1. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is almost always the first sign of interest. When you spot your crush, let your gaze linger on him just a moment longer than usual. Accompany this with a soft smile, then look away. The subtlety will spark his curiosity and put the ball in his court while still signaling you’re approachable.

If you're looking for more innovative ways to express your interest, explore our guide on 16 subtle methods to show a guy you’re interested. With insights that focus on genuine gestures, you’ll learn how to communicate your feelings without overwhelming him.
  • Repeat a few times to build tension—sometimes it takes a couple of glances for the message to land.
  • When in conversation, maintain genuine eye contact to show he has your full attention.

2. Flash Your Best Smile

A genuine smile is universally inviting. When you lock eyes with him, let your smile convey warmth and interest. This not only puts him at ease but also makes you seem confident and friendly. Remember, authenticity is key—forced smiles can backfire.

3. Use Light, Playful Touch (When Appropriate)

The right, subtle touch can create tingling sparks. If you’re chatting with him, touch his arm lightly when making a point, or brush your hand against his during a laugh. Always gauge his comfort; consent and boundaries are paramount.

For clarity on effective communication, check out our insights on essential steps to meaningful conversations with guys. They highlight strategies that can help you express your thoughts confidently while engaging him in a relatable way.
  • Examples: A playful nudge if he teases you, or a tap on the shoulder when sharing a funny story.

4. Mirror His Actions

Mirroring is a psychological technique that builds rapport. Subtly match his energy—mimic his posture, speech tempo, or gestures. This signals empathy, shared perspective, and makes the conversation flow more easily.

  • Do not copy every move; keep it natural and light.

5. Start With Friendly Conversation

Initiating conversation doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking. Open with casual topics—a comment about the setting, a funny observation, or a compliment about something specific. Once you’ve broken the ice, let the chat flow naturally.

Ever wonder how to truly captivate his heart? Discover our 25 proven ways to make him crazy for you. These tips are crafted to help you build attraction and foster emotional connections that thrive in modern dating.
  • Start with, “That’s a cool tee. Is that your favorite band?” or “This place always has such good vibes, don’t you think?”

6. Tease Him Playfully

Flirting thrives on playful banter. Light teasing can show your interest and confidence—just keep it good-natured and positive. For instance:

  • “Wow, you’re really tall… you’re not secretly a basketball star, are you?”
  • “Did you wear that shirt just to impress me?”

Be mindful not to cross the line into rudeness; the goal is fun, not discomfort.

7. Give Him Sincere Compliments

Genuine compliments go a long way—everyone likes to feel seen and appreciated. Point out something you truly admire, be it his style, his humor, or his intellect.

Looking to enhance your chances of matchmaking? Check out our guide on proven tips and psychology to get your crush to like you. Result-driven strategies can help you navigate the complexities of attraction more effectively.
  • Example: “I really like your laugh—it’s contagious.”
  • Be specific: “You really explained that well. You make it sound interesting.”

8. Be A Good Listener

Show real interest in what he says by asking follow-up questions, nodding, and responding thoughtfully. This communicates respect and investment in knowing him beyond the surface.

  • Avoid interrupting or turning the conversation back to yourself.

9. Use Your Body Language

Open, inviting body language is crucial for successful flirting. Face him directly, lean in slightly, and avoid crossing your arms. Play with your hair lightly or adjust your jewelry—these small gestures can subconsciously signal romantic interest.

  • Hold your head high and angle your shoulders toward him.
Curious if he’s giving you those flirtatious vibes? Discover the 25 clear signs he’s interested and deepen your understanding of body language in flirting. This knowledge can help you read situations more confidently.

10. Be Innocently Seductive

Seduction doesn’t require drama. Sometimes, a subtle move—a playful glance, a soft laugh, or pausing mid-sentence—can be more alluring than any suggestive remark. The key is to keep it light and mysterious.

  • For instance: Play with your drink, look at him over the rim of your glass, and let a smile linger.
  • When he teases, lean in conspiratorially and whisper, “You’re trouble, aren’t you?” then pull back with a smirk.

11. Show Him Emotional Support

Flirting isn’t all humor; showing empathy when he’s struggling or celebrating his wins can strengthen the bond. Encourage him if he’s down, or cheer for him when he tells you good news.

  • Be a source of light: “I’m sure you’ll ace that presentation tomorrow—you’re always prepared!”

12. Use Humor To Build Connection

Laughter is one of the surest ways to build attraction. Share funny stories, enjoy his jokes, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Humor creates a positive, memorable vibe that draws people together.

  • Keep jokes light-hearted and steer clear of sensitive topics.

13. Know When To Step Back

Part of effective flirting is reading his signals. If he seems uninterested or reserved, give him space. Respect his boundaries and understand that not every interaction needs to lead to something more.

  • Confident women know when to walk away with grace.

Dos And Don’ts Of Flirting

DosDon’ts
Smile genuinely and maintain eye contactStare or make him uncomfortable with overly intense looks
Engage in light, appropriate touchInvade his personal space or touch without consent
Give sincere complimentsUse rehearsed or insincere pickup lines
Respect boundaries and signalsPersist if you sense disinterest or discomfort
Be authentic and playfulPretend to be someone you’re not or try too hard

Infographic: 7 Ways To Flirt With A Guy

Quick-reference tips for sparking chemistry, inspired by modern confidence:

  • Maintain meaningful eye contact.
  • Initiate friendly conversation with a positive tone.
  • Laugh at his jokes and share in the moment.
  • Offer genuine compliments tailored to his style or personality.
  • Use open and receptive body language.
  • Tease playfully to create tension, but keep it light.
  • Respect the pace and let the interaction unfold naturally.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Is it okay for women to make the first move when flirting?

A: Absolutely. Modern dating encourages confidence—many men appreciate women who show interest and take initiative. Flirting is about mutual connection and enjoyment.

Q: How can I flirt without seeming too obvious or desperate?

A: Use subtle cues—meaningful eye contact, light teasing, and genuine conversation. Let him know you’re interested without overdoing it; balance is key.

Q: What if I get nervous and freeze up?

A: It’s natural to feel nervous. Take a breath, focus on the present moment, and start with a smile or a casual question. Most guys appreciate authenticity over perfection.

Q: Are compliments effective or do they come across as cheesy?

A: Genuine, specific compliments are always appreciated. Avoid generic praise—instead, notice something unique about him, like his style or sense of humor.

Q: How do I know if my flirting is working?

A: Look for reciprocation—he maintains eye contact, leans in during conversation, engages with playful banter, or tries to keep the conversation going.

Final Thoughts

Flirting is about connection, confidence, and respect. The aim is to enjoy the process—have fun, express yourself authentically, and remain aware of the other person’s responses. Modern women don’t need to wait for someone to approach; they can take the lead and enjoy the thrill of mutual attraction. Remember, the boldest move you make could be the start of something wonderful.

Sneha Tete
Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer
Sneha is a relationships and lifestyle writer with a strong foundation in applied linguistics and certified training in relationship coaching. She brings over five years of writing experience to thebridalbox, crafting thoughtful, research-driven content that empowers readers to build healthier relationships, boost emotional well-being, and embrace holistic living.

Read full bio of Sneha Tete