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Michelle Phan Opens Up About Depression, Burnout, and Self-Discovery

Beauty mogul Michelle Phan shares her journey through depression, burnout, and the power of stepping away to find yourself

By Medha deb

Created on Oct 3, 2025

Beauty mogul Michelle Phan shares her journey through depression, burnout, and the power of stepping away to find yourself

Michelle Phan—beauty mogul, YouTube pioneer, and serial entrepreneur—has long been an icon in the digital beauty world. But behind the flawless makeup tutorials and business success lies a story of vulnerability, self-doubt, and the unexpected struggles that come with being an influencer. In a deeply personal interview, Phan shares her journey with depression, the burnout that led to her unexpected hiatus from the spotlight, and how she rediscovered herself away from the pressures of fame and online culture.

The Rise and Retreat: A YouTube Star’s Journey Inward

Michelle Phan was one of the first influencers to build a massive following on YouTube, showing millions how to apply makeup and offering beauty advice with a warm, genuine tone. Her early videos catapulted her to stardom, and soon she was building businesses, launching products, and becoming a household name.

Major milestones: Phan co-founded Ipsy Glam Bag, a beauty subscription service, and launched Em Cosmetics, a beauty brand first with L’Oréal and later independently.
The pressure of success: “The taste of success was like a drug,” Phan said in a 2017 video. “I figured the more productive I am, the more successful I’ll become—because money buys happiness.” But as her fame grew, so did her feelings of disconnection from herself.

Phan’s revelation is echoed by many influencers and digital creators: the constant drive to succeed, coupled with an always-on culture, can lead to burnout and mental health struggles. For Phan, this disconnect eventually led to a two-year break from the public eye—a move that shocked her fans but became a turning point in her life.

When the Glow Fades: Facing Depression and Burnout

Despite her public image and business achievements, Phan found herself struggling with depression and anxiety. She never received a formal diagnosis, but spoke openly about self-diagnosing based on daily feelings of sadness, burnout, and a loss of motivation.

Self-diagnosis: “I think I was going through depression,” Phan said. “I didn’t go to a hospital or anything or get diagnosed, but I was taking a few quizzes online and I felt really sad every day.”
Professional setbacks: The failure of her L’Oréal-backed makeup line, Em Cosmetics, in 2013 intensified her feelings of self-doubt and contributed to her emotional struggles. Online trolling and negative forums about the brand’s lack of success made her retreat further from social media.
Being candid about burnout: “I was tired, I wasn’t creating anything I was proud of, and that was why I took a break,” Phan explained. “You know you have a problem when you hear your phone vibrate and you start feeling stressed out.”

Choosing to Step Back: The Value of Time and Space

Phan’s hiatus wasn’t just about escaping the pressures of her career—it was a deliberate act of self-care. She traveled, reflected, and gave herself the space to breathe.

“Money may not buy happiness, but it does buy time. It buys comfort and time, and I was able to buy myself time to take a few steps back and reflect and really think about, ‘Where am I going to go in the next 10 years?’”

The privilege of pause: Phan acknowledges that most people in her industry don’t have the luxury to take extended breaks, but she credits her financial success for allowing her the space to refocus.
New perspectives from travel: Spending time abroad helped Phan see life from a different viewpoint. “In L.A., everyone’s trying to be someone, and they’re trying to secure something, but on the other side of the world, some people are happy with very little, because they’re not living in a society where everyone is trying to compete with each other.”

Reclaiming Her Story: Learning From Failure and Moving Forward

Phan’s experience with Em Cosmetics was a double-edged sword. Though the line’s initial failure was a crushing blow, she found a silver lining in being able to relaunch it independently.

Event	Year	Impact
Em Cosmetics Launch (with L’Oréal)	2013	Failed to meet expectations, trolled online
Em Cosmetics Relaunch (independently)	2017	Smaller, curated selection; Phan expresses pride in owning her brand
Forbes Global Influencer List	2017	Ranked #2, recognized despite hiatus

“I’m actually happy that Em didn’t do well, because I’m happy that I own it,” Phan said. “It is my makeup brand, it’s not L’Oréal’s makeup brand. It’s not for me; it’s for my viewers who have been there since the beginning.”

Redefining Beauty: Inner Glow Over External Perfection

Phan became famous for her makeup tutorials, yet she advocates for a broader definition of beauty—one rooted in wellness, hydration, and self-acceptance.

Less is more: “Most days, I just wear a little concealer and that’s it. I have nothing to hide. My viewers have seen me without makeup, so it’s all good.”
The real essentials: “The most important beauty product is water. The simple act of drinking it can flush out toxins and rehydrate your body. Number two is sunscreen—not just for wrinkles and brown spots, but health as well. And her final tip is the simplest: just smile. ‘If all else fails, when you smile… happiness is beauty.’”

Phan’s advice extends beyond makeup application. She encourages her followers to cultivate self-care rituals, from hydration to digital detoxes, and to remember that true beauty is more than skin deep.

Embracing Solitude: The Art of Being Alone Without Being Lonely

Phan found healing in solitude and became passionate about helping others do the same.

Comfort with alone time: “I spent a lot of time being by myself, being alone. I know there are so many people who are scared of being alone, but I tell them there is an art to being alone and not lonely.”
Mindful technology use: “I have to be aware and conscious of how much time I’m spending online,” she explains. “I’ll look at my screen time, how much am I spending on different apps—then start reducing.”
Curating online experiences: “Follow more cats, and cat accounts, and dogs, and follow accounts that serve you, that elevate your energy.” Phan encourages her community to curate their online spaces to foster positivity and self-esteem rather than comparison.

Stories Beyond the Screen: Authenticity vs. Curated Lives

Phan urges her followers to remember that social media is a highlight reel—not reality. She shares, “I’m just showing you a movie trailer. I’m showing you the best cuts, but I’m not going to show you all the bad things.”

Stop the comparison game: Phan sees firsthand how toxic social comparison can be. “Fans tell me how depressed they are because they go online and they feel like they’re not good enough. The first thing I tell them is just stop watching these people.”
Finding contentment in real life: “Learning that lesson didn’t come easily to Phan. She had to work to stop comparing herself to others.”

Creative Outlets and Self-Expression

Beyond beauty, Phan is a passionate creative. She plays multiple instruments and dedicates time to drawing and art, seeing them as vital outlets for emotional expression and stress relief.

Musical talent: “She plays the piano and trumpet among other instruments.”
Art as therapy: “I could go into my happy place in my head and occupy my thoughts with my passions, like drawing and creating.”
Unusual rituals: “She has a copper pyramid room in her Los Angeles apartment. When she needs a moment, she goes inside her pyramid to meditate for 15 minutes. She describes the reason for her specific meditation space, saying, ‘Scientists in Russia discovered that whenever they put medicine inside of any pyramidal structure, it restructures the molecule’s chemicals and increases the potency by 30 percent.’” Whether or not the science fully supports it, Phan’s embrace of unique self-care practices reflects her commitment to wellness in every sense.

Lessons Learned: From Success to Substance

Redefining success Phan’s journey is a lesson in how success—especially in the digital age—can come at a mental and emotional price. She encourages her followers to pursue success, but not at the expense of their well-being.
The importance of self-awareness Recognizing burnout, depression, and anxiety early can help you take action before things spiral out of control. Phan’s willingness to step back was an act of self-awareness and strength.
Embracing authenticity Phan’s story is about embracing authenticity over curated perfection. She reminds her audience to be true to themselves, even when the world expects them to be flawless.
Finding balance True wellness, according to Phan, is about balancing productivity with play, work with rest, and external achievements with internal contentment.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Was Michelle Phan officially diagnosed with depression?

A: No, Phan never received a formal diagnosis from a medical professional. She self-diagnosed based on her daily feelings of sadness, burnout, and by taking online quizzes.

Q: What led Michelle Phan to take a hiatus from YouTube?

A: Phan experienced burnout, depression, and feelings of disconnection from herself. She felt she wasn’t creating content she was proud of and needed time away to reflect and recover.

Q: How did Michelle Phan cope with depression and burnout?

A: Phan prioritized self-care, traveled, spent time alone, engaged in creative hobbies, and managed her technology use. She also explored meditation and unique wellness rituals, like meditating in a copper pyramid room for stress relief.

Q: What advice does Michelle Phan give to her followers about social media and self-esteem?

A: Phan urges her followers to curate their feeds to include more uplifting content and less comparison. She emphasizes that social media is a highlight reel, not reality, and advises people to focus on their own journeys rather than comparing themselves to others.

Q: What makes Michelle Phan’s approach to beauty different now?

A: Phan champions a wellness-first approach to beauty, highlighting hydration, sunscreen, and self-acceptance over heavy makeup. She believes true beauty comes from within and encourages her audience to focus on health and happiness, not just appearance.

References

Author

medha deb

Medha Deb is an editor with a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad. She believes that her qualification has helped her develop a deep understanding of language and its application in various contexts.

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